Posted: 10.09.11 01:49. Post subject: Перлы и Цитаты

* If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.

* When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

* It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.

* If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

* One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.

* Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.


Henry Ford

 Posted: 10.09.11 01:54. Post subject: Always forgive your ..

* Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

* Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

* Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

Oscar Wilde

 Posted: 12.09.11 04:04. Post subject: You can't shake ..

* You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.


Mahatma Gandhi

 Posted: 12.09.11 04:20. Post subject: War doesn't dete..

* War doesn't determine who's right - only who's left.

Bertrand Russell

 Posted: 13.09.11 02:40. Post subject: It is too difficult ..

* It is too difficult to think nobly when one thinks only of earning a living.


Jean-Jacques Rousseau

 Posted: 13.09.11 07:00. Post subject: Fear not those who a..

* Fear not those who argue but those who dodge.

* Parents forgive their children least readily for the faults they themselves instilled in them.

* Conquer, but don't triumph.

* To be content with little is hard; to be content with much, impossible.


Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

 Posted: 13.09.11 20:15. Post subject: All animals are equa..

* All animals are equal but some are more equal than others.

George Orwell

 Posted: 13.09.11 21:13. Post subject: Between two evils, I..

* Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

* Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.


Mae West

 Posted: 14.09.11 07:45. Post subject: A single death is a ..

* A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.


Josef Stalin

 Posted: 15.09.11 04:59. Post subject: Patriotism is the co..

* Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

* Lack of money is the root of all evil.

* Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

* Alcohol is a very necessary article ... It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.


George Bernard Shaw

 Posted: 15.09.11 09:28. Post subject: Diplomacy: The patri..

* Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

* Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

* Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

* Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

* Day: A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.


Ambrose Bierce

 Posted: 16.09.11 09:05. Post subject: Success is the abili..

* Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

* A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

* I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

* If you're going through hell, keep going.

* Saving is a fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.


Winston Churchill

 Posted: 17.09.11 00:56. Post subject: All truths are easy ..

* All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.

Galileo Galilei

(Так вот откуда пошло выражение "Просто как все гениальное"?)

 Posted: 22.09.11 09:01. Post subject: Life is hard. After ..

* Life is hard. After all it kills you.

Katharine Hepburn

 Posted: 22.09.11 20:54. Post subject: Anyone who eats thre..

* Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

L. M. Boyd

 Posted: 26.09.11 22:51. Post subject: Veni, vidi, vici. ..

* Veni, vidi, vici.


Gaius Julius Caesar

Пришел, увидел, победил (чтобы не забыть)

 Posted: 27.09.11 05:39. Post subject: Every generation lau..

* Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.

Henry David Thoreau

 Posted: 27.09.11 20:50. Post subject: Don't take life ..

* Don't take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive.

* One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.

* To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.


Elbert Hubbard

 Posted: 28.09.11 19:56. Post subject: Life isn't worth..

* Life isn't worth living, unless it is lived for someone else.

* The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

* You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

* I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

* Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former.


Albert Einstein

 Posted: 29.09.11 22:46. Post subject: If you pick up a sta..

* If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

* Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

* Man is the only Animal that blushes. Or needs to.

* Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.

* A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

* It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

* Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

* When in doubt tell the truth.

* Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

* Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

* Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.


Mark Twain

 Posted: 02.10.11 00:53. Post subject: Violence is the last..

* Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Isaac Asimov

 Posted: 05.10.11 19:22. Post subject: Even if you're o..

* Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

* I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

* Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.

* Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.


Will Rogers

 Posted: 14.10.11 21:31. Post subject: * Genius is one per ..

* Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration.


Thomas Alva Edison

 Posted: 15.10.11 08:30. Post subject: * A witty saying pro..

* A witty saying proves nothing.


Voltaire

 Posted: 16.10.11 22:12. Post subject: * Europe was created..

* Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy.

* You don't tell deliberate lies, but sometimes you have to be evasive.


Margaret Thatcher

 Posted: 19.10.11 00:10. Post subject: * Life is what happe..

* Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

John Lennon ("Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)")

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/John_Lennon

 Posted: 24.10.11 03:27. Post subject: * To be prepared for..

* To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.


George Washington

 Posted: 27.10.11 20:23. Post subject: * A bus station is ..

* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station ....

Unknown

 Posted: 28.10.11 21:46. Post subject: * If something goes ..

* If something goes wrong, blame the guy who can't speak English.

*You know, Smithers, "I told you so" has a brother. His name is, "Shut the hell up"!

The Simpson's

 Posted: 08.11.11 04:16. Post subject: * If you want a thin..

* If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.

* History is a set of lies agreed upon.

Napoleon

 Posted: 11.11.11 03:06. Post subject: * It has long been a..

* It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.


Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

 Posted: 17.11.11 09:56. Post subject: * America is a mista..

* America is a mistake, a giant mistake.


Sigmund Freud

 Posted: 18.11.11 04:11. Post subject: * Great minds discus..

* Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.


Eleanor Roosevelt

 Posted: 18.11.11 10:47. Post subject: * I love Thanksgivin..

* I love Thanksgiving turkey ... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.


Arnold Schwarzenegger

 Posted: 18.11.11 22:04. Post subject: * Be nice to people ..

* Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet 'em on your way down.


Wilson Mizner

 Posted: 22.11.11 06:32. Post subject: * A bank is a place ..

* A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.


Bob Hope

 Posted: 04.12.11 10:45. Post subject: * We used to build c..

* We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls.


Bill Bryson

 Posted: 19.12.11 00:32. Post subject: * I'm not agains..

* I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them.


Alfred Hitchcock

 Posted: 20.12.11 21:26. Post subject: Иван Васильевич меня..

Иван Васильевич меняет профессию

— Это я удачно зашёл…
— Тьфу на вас! …Тьфу на вас ещё раз!
— Граждане, храните деньги в сберегательной кассе. Если, конечно, они у вас есть.
— Ты на что, царская морда, намекаешь?!
— Да ты что ж, сукин сын, самозванец, казённые земли разбазариваешь? Так никаких волостей не напасешься!
— Очень приятно — Царь, очень приятно — Царь… Здравствуйте — Царь.
— Танцуют все!
— Житие́ мое́… — Какое житие́ твое́, пёс смердящий?!
— Я требую продолжения банкета!
— Ты почто боярыню обидел, смерд?!
— Я не узнаю вас в гриме.
— Всё, всё, что нажил непосильным трудом — всё же погибло. Три магнитофона, три кинокамеры заграничных, три портсигара отечественных… Куртка замшевая, три… куртки.
— Собака с милицией обещала прийти.
— Оставь меня, старушка, я в печали…
— И тебя вылечат. И тебя тоже вылечат. И меня вылечат…
— Что значит «к чёрту»? Полквартиры исчезло!
— Лжёшь, собака! Аз есмь царь!
— Какой паразит осмелился сломать двери в царское помещение? Разве их для того вешали, чтобы вы их ломали?!
— Не вели казнить, великий государь надёжа, демоны тебя схватили, по всем палатам мы за ними гонялись, хвать! …Ан демонов-то и нету!
— Были демоны. Это мы не отрицаем. Но они самоликвидировались.
— Отворяй, собака!
— А кому это он?
— Вам.
— А где царь?
— Закусывать надо.
— Замуровали, демоны!
— Вот что крест животворящий делает!
— Скажите, у вас нет отдельного кабинета?
— Так ты, ваше благородие, уже нарезался.
— Мы, цари, работаем без выходных. Да нам, царям, за вредность молоко нужно бесплатно давать!
— Эх, Марфуша, нам ли быть в печали?
— Я артист больших и малых театров, и моя фамилия слишком известная, чтобы я её называл!
— Скажите, а вы и в магазине можете так стеночку приподнять?
— Хм, стенку!
— Вашему изобретению нет цены!
— Я бы на Вашем месте за докторскую диссертацию бы немедленно сел!
— Торопиться не надо — сесть я всегда успею…
— Видел чудеса техники, но такого!
— Если бы вы были моей женой, я бы повесился!
— Хам!
— Шпака вы брали?!
— Шпака?
— Да!
— Казань брал, Астрахань брал, Ревель брал, Шпака не брал.
— Ты скажи, какая вина на мне, боярин?
— Тамбовский волк тебе боярин!
— Извините, Иван Васильевич, но когда Вы говорите, впечатление такое, что Вы бредите!
— Икра красная, икра чёрная… Да! Заморская икра… баклажанная!
— Здрав буде, боярин!
— Вот лица попрошу не касаться!
— Скажите, как Ваше имя-отчество?
— Марфа Васильевна я…
— Вот смотрит… Вы на мне дыру протрёте!
— На мне узоров нет и цветы не растут.
— Я был уверен, что отправил вас назад, где же вы были всё это время?
— В милицию замели, дело шьют.

 Posted: 06.01.12 08:59. Post subject: * The difference bet..

* The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.


Tom Clancy

 Posted: 11.01.12 23:35. Post subject: * When you don't..

* When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both it's health.


J. P. Donleavy